On Marriage

00:01
Alright, so we are now in the final stage of this study. We are going to cover Lecture 7, which is Marriage in the New Testament. And you know the drill, we are now on Lecture 7. It was called before the Cross, due to changes in content, think this title is more applicable. The New Testament, Natural and Sacramental Marriage. That's what we're going to be talking about today.

00:31
And again, here are the two QR codes in case you'd like to grab them. One is for the prior talk, which is already up on the site. And the other is if you want to phone your questions. I'll give you a second to grab those and then we'll move on.

00:53
Alright. Anybody new here for the first time? Oh, okay. Welcome. So this study has been going on for now six episodes and we've covered, essentially we've used a way of looking at scripture called recapitulation. So I would suggest if you're interested by what you're going to hear today to go on the site which is corbono.com, that's the name, and you'll find the talk on marriage and then listen to the talks.

01:22
That would be probably the easiest. Because I obviously can't recap the entire thing right now and it's a pretty charged agenda as usual. All right. So please stand and let's begin with a word of prayer. In the name of the Father, of the Son, of the Holy Spirit, amen. Together. Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your spirit and they shall be created.

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and you shall renew the face of the earth. O God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy his consolation. Through Christ our Lord. Amen. Please be seated.

02:11
So thus far as in the series, we've introduced the three foundational concepts, the senses of scripture, the covenant and recapitulation. We've considered the Garden of Eden as the principle model for marriage. And that is still true today. And we've looked to Noah and his family as a model family under duress. We followed with Jacob and his clan through his mistakes and foibles, reflected on Israel and Goshen, and considered our journey through the wilderness.

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all through a recapitulative lens. And by now I trust that you understand what that means. If you have still questions about that, please bring them up during the Q &A. What we'll cover today, we're going to go through a brief primer on virtues and vices. You guys have asked me about this. And I'm going to very quickly cover that. Then we're going to talk about marriage in Jesus' time. What was it like?

03:07
talk about his command to go back to the beginning, then address the notion of marriage as a sacrament. What does that mean? What does it add? What does the sacrament add to a natural marriage? And then conclusion. And again, I'll remind you that marriage is a natural institution, which is higher than any ecclesial institution, because it is instituted directly by God. And everything we talk about applies to any marriage.

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whether in the church, outside the church, save the sacramental site, which applies to the baptized, obviously. So, let's go through this primer.

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on virtues.

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Virtues. First, I want you to look at the top. What must I do to gain eternal life? Jesus gave us two commands. It's actually in the entire, the entirety of scriptures can be summed up by these two commands. Love God, love your neighbor. And the virtues sort of split under these two. The order is love God, then love your neighbor. Loving God requires that we know God. That's faith.

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We love Him, that's charity, and believe in His promises, hope. Those are the supernatural virtues. Under no God, you study scripture, you pray, you meditate on His beauty. Loving Him means you sacrifice, you give Him glory, you're grateful. And then believing in His promise, call on the power of the sacraments, and we're going to talk about that in marriage. Surrender in trust to God, do everything as investment for heaven. Under love of neighbor, know your neighbor. Again,

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It falls under the heading of faith, you're driven by God. So you listen to your neighbor, you spend time with him and you inspire him to the good. That's sort of the thing that you do with neighbors. Loving him, you sacrifice for him, you put him first, you're grateful to know him, to meet him. And then believing in his promises, you trust him, you forgive him, you do everything to help him to get to heaven.

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And then in order to do that, you have to sort of go and acquire virtues. The only thing you can bring with you to heaven are virtues. That's it. That's your crown, your virtues. Right? It is imperative that you understand that you're here to gain virtues. The sacraments are there to help you, to give you the energy to gain virtues. And I am not going to go through all of those.

05:46
These are obviously not all the virtues. I've listed them with their vices. And again, I recommend that you download this deck from the site afterwards and spend some time studying those. And in marriage, I do recommend that you spend time studying it as spouses because you're gonna bounce each other off. And what you really want to know is which are the three out of this whole list that you should be working on this year? Only three.

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And which are the three on this side that you need to be aware of? And that's why you need to bounce with someone. You need to bounce off with someone because on our own pride intervenes and get everything messed up. So I might be thinking, oh, I'm wise. And if my spouse chuckles, maybe not as wise as I thought I was. That's why it's important to be able to have someone to bounce this off. So go through all of this. You have questions.

06:46
Bring them with you next time or you can always fire question to me on the site and I'll answer those. Okay, training in virtue, general principles. You live to become more virtuous. You become more virtuous when you love more. You love to have the fullness of life. Why do you want to be virtuous, by the way? And I want to be very clear on this. I don't like negative morality. I don't like negative morality. Morality of the sort.

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don't do this, don't do that. Do not, do not, do not, do not. That's good. We need the don'ts, But they are conducive to depression. The purpose of morality, what is the purpose of morality? Purpose of morality is, I said it last time, let's see how many you are awake, yes? No? Pardon? No? That's it. Joy.

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Natural virtues, even outside of the supernatural virtues, their purpose is for joy. Virtue leads to joy. You want to be happy, be virtuous. That's why virtues are important, because they lead you to joy. They have a very positive outlook. At the end of the day, you will be joyful. Read the lives of the saints, read inspiring books, read great literature.

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If you're wondering why you should be reading great literature, it is to grow in virtues. That's why literature can be great. It's when it leads you to imitate characters that act virtuously. I think many of you have been inspired to do so after either watching or reading the Lord of the Rings. So you think about those characters, you think about their actions, and you wish to imitate them. However, that's not enough if you're not grasping.

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which virtues you need to work on. Read books on virtue, become a warrior of virtue. That's your battle. Entire life is a battle to gain virtue, to acquire them. And inform virtuous friendship and virtuous families. Okay, so to help you with that, I have here a selection. Don't worry about taking, you can take pictures if you want, but again, all that is gonna be made available to you. You can have all, you know, it's a free downloadable.

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So I just want you to relax. Please take pictures if you want, but you don't have to. Saint Anthony of the Desert is probably the only book I know of written by another saint. Saint Athanasius wrote the biography of Saint Anthony of the Desert, whom we call Saint Anthony the Great in the eastern side. Saint Augustine, the Confessions, obviously. And the autobiography of Saint Teresa of Avila. She is absolutely incredible.

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The Song of Bernadette, if you haven't read this book, grab that book. This book is written by a Jewish man. It is grace-filled. Absolutely grace-filled. I can't recommend it enough. The Story of a Soul by St. Therese of Lisieux and The Life of St. Francis of Assisi.

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Inspiring books. If you've not read He Leadeth Me by Father Shizek, probably his case will be open. I am pretty convinced of this. I would recommend you do that. He was imprisoned in Siberia and he wrote two books, From Russia with Love, which is the exterior action that he took, and The Interior Journey, which is what I recommend. He leadeth me. I've told you...

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I've mentioned to you before my heroes, Tagashi and Midori Nagai, and I've told you, in 10 years, I've been praying for their canonization. Well, I'm happy to share with you that Tagashi, maybe I did it last week, I don't remember last time, maybe I did it, but Tagashi is now declared a servant of God. But not Midori, which kind of, I'm disappointed, but I'm hoping that will happen. This is a story written by a Benedictine priest.

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who lived in Japan understands the culture and it is amazing. And then if you want to know about probably by his miracles the greatest saint maybe one of the greatest saint of all times, Saint Charbel, read this book. 60,000 Miracles and Counting. So here are books which the purpose of these books again is to grow in virtue not to just emote and say oh that was great.

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set it aside and forget about it, is to imitate them. All right. Training and virtues. This is an amazing story of this little girl. She's Chinese. The child martyr of the Eucharist in China. Again, if you don't know anything about her, check her out. You would be very inspired. Saint Maximilian Colby and then Carlo Acutis, which many of you Gen Zers know about. Is there a question?

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I don't know. He is? Oh wonderful. So you're ahead of me. Thank you for sharing that with me. Perfect. Yeah, he's amazing. Now, great classics. Crime and Punishment, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, and then Charles Dickens' David Copperfield.

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I don't know why this is, but William Faulkner, As I Lie Dying, The Odyssey, and then Read Books on Virtues. Here are some books on virtues. These are for beginners, a general introduction, and for children. Again, don't, yeah, please, I'm not gonna wait for you, I'm sorry, but all that will be available. For, you know, medium read for teenagers, and then those of you who want to read something a little bit more medium.

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Alistair McIntyre after virtue, the Catholic virtues by Mitch Finley, and then cultivating virtue, self mastery with the saints. And then the virtue driven life by Father Groschel. And then finally, the standard, the gold standard, Joseph Piper, probably the greatest greatest theologian we have about Saint Thomas Aquinas, who may be still alive. The four Carlin virtues.

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a brief reader on the virtues of the human heart, St. Thomas Aquinas, the Cardinal of Virtues, and then Joseph Piper again, Faith, Hope, and Love, theological virtues. So there's quite a bit of material here, and obviously you're not restricted to those, but hopefully it'll jump start you into your journey of virtues. All right.

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Now, let's get into the meat of the subject, marriages in Jesus' time. We're going to look at the marriage in Jesus' time, then look at what Jesus said and ask ourselves this question, what does it mean? So today, it won't be as recapitulative as it was before, right? I'm taking a different tack, but it's natural to the topic that we're addressing now. So, in the Roman Empire, circa first century AD, what was marriage like? Marriage was a civil institution.

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Roman marriage was not a religious sacrament, but a legal and social contract.

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It required the consent of both parties or their fathers, but was not necessarily a public ceremony or religious right.

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And there were no priests involved in officiating marriages. It was literally a contract, similar to what you have now in France when you go to the... the... Mairie, I'm having the word in French, not in English. City hall, thank you. And then you sign the papers. Same thing. Marriage existed by the mutual consent to live together as husband and wife and to bear children of legitimate status. Right? However...

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Types of Roman mares, there were two types. There was the cum manu, with hand, from which we get the expression, ask for her hand. The wife came fully under the husband legal authority, or sine manu, which is without hand. The wife remained under her father's authority or legal independence, a form more common in the first century.

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So the wife had her own legal status and she was not necessarily connected to her husband. By Jesus' time Sinemannu was dominant, making wives legally independent but often socially vulnerable. Yes.

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No, Nothing is romantic here. Nothing at all. This was more an agreement. At most marriages, especially in cities, for political or economic reasons. No, romance was with the mistresses and the things that you can do on the site. Widespread marital instability. Divorce was prevalent, easy and socially accepted.

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Either spouse could initiate it, often simply by sending a written notice or statement of intent. Who's it? Serial marriages were common among the elite. Some women were known to have had 10 husbands.

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Seneca the Younger, contemporary of Jesus, woman married to divorce and divorced to marry. And you can see it coming full circle. Today in the United States, that is pretty much where we are. 80 % of divorces are initiated by women. The legal status is on their side. Usually they gain custody of their children.

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And that percentage, by the way, is across the board, even among marriages between women. The divorce is much higher than marriages between men, quote unquote. So this is, we live in a situation where what you see here is now being replicated across the board. Moral laxity and sexual decadence. Adultery was rampant, especially among the upper classes. While technically punishable, it was often tolerated.

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Sexual double standards were widespread, husbands were allowed extramarital affairs with slaves or prostitutes, wives by contrast were expected to remain faithful or face disgrace or banishment. Now we've done away with this thanks to technological advancement with the pill and today we have widespread moral laxity on both sides, men and women.

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Homosexual relationships, concubinage and casual liaisons were part of daily life, especially in urban centres like Rome and Corinth.

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So those who cry the apocalypse is tomorrow should study history. We've seen it all. And you have to understand, progress is not brought about by technology. Progress is brought about by virtue. When society is virtuous, there is progress. When a society becomes vicious, we regress. It's always the case. And by the way,

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this situation of moral accident didn't get lot better, much much better even during Christendom. So King Louis XVI for instance, there was this woman, her name was Madame de Pompadour, she straight out told her husband, I will not leave you except for the king. And so when the king wanted her as his mistress, she left her husband, became the king's mistress, went to the Palais de Versailles, lived there,

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and eight at the same table as the king's wife with the whole court being present and this is france the eldest daughter of the church again when virtue flourish society flourish and when vice flourish society doesn't simple as that okay children

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The paterfamilias, family's father, had absolute legal authority, including over life and death. Exposure of infants, especially girls or disabled children, was tragically common. Exposure is a nice way of saying that they drown the kids. They don't like the kids? Take it to the Tiber, throw it in the water. Done.

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Marriage was often strategic, a way to align families, gain influence, or secure an heir.

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So by comparison, the Egyptian morality that we saw is much better. Way better than what the Romans were going through.

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Religious syncretism and decline in virtue. Traditional Roman religion offered no moral foundation for marital chastity or fidelity. By the first century AD, Stoicism promoted some ethical reflection on marital duty and virtue. But for the majority, marriage was a social arrangement, not a sacred covenant. That is in the Roman Empire. What about the Holy Land?

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Moses allowed divorce due to hardness of heart. Deuteronomy 24.1 Reflecting man's fallen condition. That's what Jesus told them. He allowed you divorce for the hardness of your heart. By Jesus' time, marriage in Judea was fractured. Divorce was easy and polygamy, though rare, was still lingered.

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So now, take all this backdrop.

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and consider the words of Jesus. Back to the beginning.

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Jesus' teaching was literally revolutionary. It was crazy. He reaffirms God's original design for marriage by quoting Genesis.

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That was crazy. How would you bring something like that about?

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Jesus calls us back to Eden, to the unity and indissolubility God intended from the beginning. He restores the dignity of marriage as a permanent, faithful, fruitful union, rooted in Genesis, not in Roman law.

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But it was just as insane back then to think that this could be possible, that it would be the norm of society as it is today. To think we can flip everything around and bring it back as a norm for society. No different. It wasn't easy. It wasn't even possible for them to comprehend how you could do something like that.

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So, remember I showed you the garden as a pattern for marriage. So, there is a river that flows from outside the garden into the garden. In the garden, it waters it, therefore it is possible to till the garden and there are fruitful trees. And then from the garden, it branches into four rivers. Four is...

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Typically in the scriptures, the cardinal number for the whole world because the world is conceived as eight and an altar and an altar has four corners.

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Therefore, the garden was going to be watered by God, tilled by the man and his wife, made fruitful, and it feeds the world. That is what God intends when he thinks of marriage.

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The garden was watered from a river that flowed from outside the garden. Therefore, it doesn't have self-sustenance. It depends on that river that flows from outside the garden. Just as a couple depends on God. A marriage is always a triangle, not binary. Three. Man, woman, and God. Natural or otherwise. All marriages are supposed to be like this. When that river comes in, it waters...

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the garden so that the garden can be tilled by the man and his wife because that was the command, till and guard. And it produces fruitful trees. But it isn't just for the garden. The river then branches out and waters the whole world. This is why Pope Leo XIII in his social doctrine always thought that the foundation of society is the family. To create a just society, you have to create just family.

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That is the model. This is what Christ is calling us back to. That. Now, I told you that when you look at the cross, you see that there are four branches, those are the four rivers, and the water that flows from Christ's side is that river that comes from outside the garden that tills it. It's the grace of Christ from the cross that tills the garden and makes it fruitful.

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And it is that, so therefore it is the Sacred Heart of Jesus that is the source of all graces, all order, all life, all joy, all beauty across the entire world. Because this is how God intended it, from the beginning and that's how Christ renewed it on the cross.

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So what is Eden supposed to look like?

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Inside the house there must be unity. So there is a harmony between the man and the woman.

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It is protected. is especially incumbent on the man to make sure that the moral norms in his house are respected. That's what protection means.

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It is fruitful. Now, fruitful does not mean children.

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Fruitful means virtues. There are couples who are childless. Does this mean they're not fruitful? St. Joseph and Our Lady had one child. Does this mean they're not fruitful? It's the virtues first of the spouses, then the children as the visible sign of those virtues.

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It is charitable. It is especially incumbent on the wife and the mother to radiate that charity out.

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That's what the natural family is supposed to look like.

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Now, let's think about that for a second.

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We are fallen creatures. We all have the effect of original sin in us. When God instituted the garden, Adam and Eve were created perfect.

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The reason why the call of Christ is crazy is because he's asking fallen people to do what Adam and Eve as perfect creation failed to do. Do you understand the conundrum? He's asking people who suffer from the effect of original sin in a society that is already

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in disarray to do what Adam and Eve did not do. And yet they were perfect.

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That is the reason for the sacrament.

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The sacraments are not a nice little add-on. They are essential if you want to be able to do this. Now, we're going to get into this a little bit more.

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So marriage is a sacrament.

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Okay.

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The first sign of Christ's glory was performed at a wedding. Coincidence? No.

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This is the first of his signs, Jesus did it at Canaan in Galilee, and manifests his glory and his disciples believe in him. The water into wine. From this moment the Church recognizes marriage as a sacred sign. Catechism of the Catholic Church, on the threshold of his public life, Jesus performs his first sign at his mother's request during a wedding feast. The Church attaches great importance to Jesus' presence at the wedding of Canaan.

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She sees in it the confirmation of the goodness of marriage and the proclamation that dense force marriage will be an efficacious sign of Christ's presence.

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The only other place where we speak of something being an efficacious sign of Christ's presence is the Eucharist.

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That's what marriage is supposed to be.

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All right, so what does this have?

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Well, I'm sure many of you have memorized this first sentence. You can recite it by heart. A sacrament is an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace. What do we mean by that? So, a sign. If you're driving on the highway, you see a sign that says San Diego. The sign is not San Diego. The sign points to San Diego. So imagine now a sign that kind of points to itself.

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That's what a sacrament is. It's weird. That's why it's hard to understand.

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We're not used to things that just point to themselves. They usually, a sign, point to something else. You have a picture of someone that's not someone. That's the picture of someone. But a sign, but the sacrament is a sign that produces what it says.

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What it says. You see what I'm saying? So it's a complete thing that has an appearance of a sign, but a reality that is a mystery. It produces grace. Alright, what is grace? Think of it this way. Grace is spiritual energy. Think of it this way, the simplest way. It's free, it is a gift, and it's given to you, and it's energy. Alright? It's just energy.

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So grace on its own.

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If you don't do anything with it, it won't get you anywhere. It's like you fill out your car with gas, or if you have an electric car, you fill out the batteries, and then you sit in the car and you go nowhere. Just sit there. You still have to go. You have to use the energy to do something. The sacrament of matrimony is the covenant. So you know covenant now. You understand what that means?

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by which a man and a woman establish a partnership for the whole of life, ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring. This covenant among the baptized has been raised by Christ of the dignity of a sacrament. What does that mean? It means it is an outward sign instituted by Christ to give grace.

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And now let me answer this question, two questions, first question. How many of you are married? Raise your hand.

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Okay. How many of you, during your years of marriage, have called on the power of the sacrament of Matrimony?

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1, 2, 3.

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That's the sad bit.

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people go get married and then leave the sacrament behind at the church and then forget about it.

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It is.

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It's instituted by Christ to give grace. Grace for what? So that you can do what marriage is intended for. Because remember, we're fallen creatures. Adam and Eve could not do what God wanted them to do. How could we? It's right here.

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grace that God will give you if you ask for it. It's a grace that is different from what you receive in communion or confession or confirmation. It is a grace specifically for the purpose of Mary.

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And yet, we don't call on it. We don't pray for it. And we don't leverage it.

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in tough times.

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That's because we don't understand what a covenant is and we don't understand this is a covenant and then there is power built into the marriage.

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Alright, sacramental benefits. What do spouses receive in a sacramental marriage? Sanctifying grace to live their vocation faithfully if they ask for it.

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Grace to love each other with Christ's own love. Assistance in bearing one another's burdens. That is so important. I really feel a great sense of pity for people who divorce. Because when you divorce, you're essentially saying God is not faithful. God is not truthful. God will not bring about what he said he would in a marriage. Now, I'm gonna...

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color that a little bit. The church allows you to divorce, to have a civil divorce. Because there are situations where either for the safety of the family or because things have gone so haywire that the church allows that. She allows that. That's not what she wants, but she allows it. So I am not saying that if you divorced, you know, it was the wrong thing to do. It's case by case. I'm just saying, I am sorry for people who go through this.

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If you understand the power of the sacrament, you understand that it is greater than all your faults. Take all your faults combined, they are nothing compared to the power of that sacrament. And your faith ought not to be in each other, because we're fallen creatures, it ought to be with the power of the sacrament. Christ on the cross, when you go get married, a sacramental marriage, basically you're standing in front of Christ and you're saying,

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We want to do what you want us to do. And he says, I will make it possible for you. And he signs your marriage with his blood, which is why the church doesn't believe in divorce. You cannot break a divine signature. Not possible.

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But he signed it, it means now his word is on the line. That's what you put your trust in. Not yourselves, because we're weak, we're liable to fail. But his word.

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What he said he will bring about, he will bring about.

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Strength to raise children in the faith and persevere in trials. That's the Catechism of Catholic Church, 1641-1642.

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So, let's go through a bunch of questions. Did Christ raise marriage to the dignity of a sacrament so fallen men and women could live marriage as it was meant to be lived from the beginning? That's the question I asked you before. The answer is a resounding yes. The Catechism explicitly ties the sacrament matrimony to restoring marriage to its original dignity. That's why it was instituted, because it's necessary. By coming to restore the original order of creation,

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disturbed by sin, Christ himself gives the strength and grace to live marriage in the new dimension of the reign of God.

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So, Jesus in Matthew 19 and Mark 10 quotes Genesis, rejects Moses' concession and declares God's original will. After the fall humanity could not live this design without grace. Not possible. Christ raises marriage to a sacrament which is not just a spiritual boost, but a real participation in divine life. Enabling spouses to live out the demands of true covenantal love, permanence, exclusivity,

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Fagantity. may not be possible on our own, it is possible with Christ. So you can see there is a parallel here between the priesthood and the married life. Because both of them have to depend on Christ. There is chastity in marriage. Where you reserve the marital act to your spouse and only to your spouse and when it is possible.

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So it's the same thing.

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Is this calling universal, meant for all, after the resurrection? Yep. With a distinction.

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The call is universal, the means are sacramental. They're not natural, they're sacramental. So the natural order now needs the sacramental order to come on top to make it possible for us to do what we couldn't do because of the fall.

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Marriage belongs to the natural law and thus to all humanity. Christ, however, doesn't abolish natural marriage but perfects and elevates it among the baptized. As the Church expands, so does access to this grace. Everyone is called to marriage as God intended it in Eden, but only those in Christ have access to the sacramental grace that restores and elevates marriage to the divine image. So now we have another question.

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If that's the case, is it possible for people who contract a natural marriage

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to live it as Christ intended it for them to live it.

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Right?

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Pelagianism, I'm going explain in a second. Pelagianism is one of the earliest heresies in a church that basically denied the need for baptism. Essentially it's very much alive today. The idea being summarized by you do you. If you can do it...

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If you didn't do it, it's because you didn't want to. It denies original sin. It denies the weakness inherent to original sin and the necessity of baptism. All you need is yourself. If you have yourself and your own strength, you can get it done. So is it possible? Can natural marriage live marriage as it was in the beginning without falling into Pelagianism? Because then we're saying to people who are fallen, everybody suffers from the state of original sin.

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We're basically saying to them, you are held to the same standard as people who have sacramental marriage. So what does the Church say about this? Well, marriages, first of and foremost, are real, valid, and good. In fact, if two people get married on the beach, and they're both atheists, and then let's say they divorce, and one of them becomes Catholic and wants to get married again, the Church will ask for an annulment.

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And the annulments are not just because two people got married in a church. For any marriage. Why? Because the church recognizes that natural marriages are real, valid, and good.

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They can reflect the original beauty of marriage, are capable of mutual fidelity, generosity, and even heroic virtue. And we see it in many societies. have, for instance, in India comes to mind, because I've seen these videos where a man and a woman met for an hour, got married, and 40 years later they're still together. And they didn't look particularly miserable. Not more miserable than other couples. That's what I'm trying to say. So it is possible.

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I mean this is a practical reality. But it's without grace.

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They lack the supernatural power to transform suffering, forgive as Christ forgives, and image Christ's union with the Church. They may succeed in human terms, but not fully realize the divine mystery intended in Eden. I'll also add that I think that's my personal thought here, so I'm not speaking the voice of the Church, but I don't think I'm saying something that contradicts the Church's teaching. I believe that because of the communion of the saints and because of the Church intercessory power,

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and sacrificial love that those graces that I told you about which flow out not just from us as married couples but from the church and then waters the world I believe that even natural marriages can benefit from that because it is to the greater glory of Christ we need natural stable marriages so that the faith could flourish

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So we do not deny the goodness of natural marriages, nor do we claim they are pelagian and aspiring to virtue, but we also don't conflate them with sacramental marriages, which are infused with grace, ordered to sanctification, and imaging Christ's covenant. So there are two substantially different types of marriages that serve substantially different purposes. I'm going to have more to say about that in the last lecture.

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So.

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Natural marriage, both natural and sacramental marriages are rooted in creation. Natural marriage has no effect of redemption. They're not redemptive, whereas sacramental marriage is. Natural marriage doesn't give sanctifying grace, sacramental marriage does. They're not a means of salvation for themselves, but they are a good foundation to allow the faith to flourish. Whereas sacramental marriages are, they are path.

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to holiness they are indissoluble by nature yes in both cases in the eyes of God they're indissoluble right in the case of our laws today they can easily be broken and then here they are explicitly indissoluble in the case of the Catholic Church and in case of the Orthodox Churches and then the Protestants sort of are all over the spectrum

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And then they don't image Christ whereas sacramental marriages do.

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So, Christ raises marriage to restore what sin had broken, sacramental marriage gives spouses divine grace to fulfill their vocation in its fullness. What is the vocation?

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become saints. The fruits of marriage is sanctity.

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Natural marriages can be good, even virtuous, but they do not partake in the sacramental life of grace, not because they are false, but because they are not yet redeemed from within. We honor natural marriages and invite all to the fullness of grace through baptism and faith.

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So now we have a problem.

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Christ wants marriage to be as it was supposed to be from the beginning. Isn't it that God created Adam and Eve sanctifying grace?

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So I told you that natural marriage can be virtuous. But if natural marriage is a means to go back to the beginning, well in the beginning Adam and Eve weren't they created with sanctifying grace, which is not the case for us, because we're born without sanctifying grace.

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If so, wasn't there a union sacramental?

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And if it were, how could a natural union made from a fallen man and a woman be like theirs?

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So ordinarily I don't wade into theological questions such as these but I did it this time because I think it's important to really understand what Christ was trying to do. So you understand what the question is? Do want me to repeat it?

45:15
Okay, Christ wants all marriages to be like from the beginning. But if in the beginning Adam and Eve were created with sanctifying grace, which most of us are not when we're born, right? We lack sanctifying grace. That's the effect of original sin. If they were created with sanctifying grace, doesn't that imply that their marriage was sacramental? And if it is sacramental, how is it possible for a natural marriage to be like theirs?

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You understand the problem? Yeah.

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So did Adam and Eve have sanctifying grace? According to the Catholic teaching, Adam and Eve were created in a state of original holiness and justice, which included sanctifying grace, pre-tru natural gifts, integrity, immortality, infused knowledge, harmony with God, self, each other, and creation. They were in a real sense in friendship with God, which is the essence of sanctifying grace.

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So when we say that a marriage is sacramental, it means the spouses are in friendship with God.

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So that's what they were, which is a far cry from all of us born in original sin.

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So was their marriage a sacrament? So it gets complicated a little bit. Here's what the Church teaches. According to the Latin tradition, the original human couple was constituted by a true marriage, though not a sacrament in the strict sense. Because the sacramentality of marriage begins with a new covenant. You can't have a sacrament before Christ. That's essentially what the teaching says. Therefore, even though...

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they were born, they were created with sanctifying grace, their marriage wasn't sacramental.

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I just want you to hone in on this for a second. It means that a sacramental marriage is superior to the union of Adam and Eve. Even though it is constituted by fallen creature. Why? Because of Christ. Because the perfection of Christ supersedes our weakness.

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You know how often we say, we think it would have been nice to be when Adam and Eve were back one day? Your marriage is superior to theirs. They would be envious of you.

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So, a sacrament, why is it not sacramental? Because a sacrament by definition is an outward sign instituted by Christ, by Christ to give grace. The sacrament matrimony, like all seven sacraments, is instituted by Christ and effective by virtue of the Paschal mystery, by virtue of the sacrifice of Christ on the cross. That's what makes it effective. Adam and Eve's union prefigures the sacrament but lacks the Christological grounding and the efficacious sign of grace by virtue of Christ's death and resurrection.

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Their marriage is real, grace, covenantal and even pristine, but it's not sacramental in the covenantal sense.

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So here, if you compare all three marriages, it gets sort of interesting. The natural marriage...

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right, is sort of inferior to the union that Adam and Eve had because it's made by people who are sinners. They were born in original sin. Adam and Eve's marriage was better because of who they were. And a sacramental marriage is inferior in the sense that the people in the marriage are sinners, but it's superior

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in the sense that Christ guarantees that marriage.

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And therein lies this tension that I'll talk about next week, or next time when we get together, between happiness and holiness. Is the purpose of a sacramental marriage to make you happy, or is the purpose to make you holy?

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How do these two play? We'll get into that next time.

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So, origin, part of the natural law and natural marriage is part of natural law and accessible to reason. Adam and Eve's marriage directly instituted by God at creation, sacramental marriage instituted by Christ under the new covenant. Sanctifying grace not present in natural marriage? Yes, in the sense that they were born in a state of sanctifying grace, but their marriage wasn't sacramental.

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It could not be itself a fount of grace.

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And in the case of sacramental marriage, no, because of the participation of fallen men and women, but yes, because of Christ.

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Here, the state of humanity is fallen. Here, it is unfallen, and here it's redeemed, though still affected by concupiscence. So is it an efficacious sign of Christ? No. Adam and Eve's marriage was not an efficacious sign of Christ. Yours is.

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So that hopefully gives you a better understanding why the Church holds marriage in such high regards. Because of the power of the sacrament that Christ gifted marriage.

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And that's a power that you need to call on daily. That's its purpose. Daily.

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You ask Christ to give you the graces through the sacrament of marriage to bear your cross, to do what you're called to do. And He will do it.

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That's how marriages can remain fruitful, meaning help you to grow in virtue, even in hard times, especially in hard

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is a marriage source of grace. Natural marriages are not. They're not a conduit of grace itself. Adam and Eve's marriage was not a sacrament. Grace was given apart from marriage. And the sacramental marriage is a conduit of grace, gives the couple strength and sanctity, permanence and fidelity. It is grounded in reason and law. remaining married to one person

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and then faithful to that one person is grounded in reason and law where possible. Grounded in harmony of nature in case of Adam and Eve, it is grounded in covenant and sacramental grace.

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Is it a means of salvation? It's indirectly only if you lived virtuously and through the Church. Yes, in the state of original justice for Adam and Eve, yes, part of the sacramental economy. So if you just could live as a married man and woman and then fulfill your duties and do what you're called to do, you can become saints. And we have now several couples who have been raised to the altar and declared saints. And if you look at their lives, they just...

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lived as couples. Because that's what marriage is supposed to do.

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Natural marriage is open to life. In the case of Adam and Eve, it was fruitful and peaceful. Here, it is fruitful and redemptive, ordered to education in the faith. Moral obligations, natural fidelity, permanence, education of children, perfect harmony without domination or struggle. In the case of Adam and Eve, same obligations, as you see here, elevated and strengthened by grace. Primary bond. In the case of natural marriage, it is a civil and natural bond.

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In the case of Adam and Eve, it was natural and pre-fall grace-filled bond. Here, it is sacramental and indissoluble if consummated. Susceptibility to sin, it is high in the case of natural marriage, vulnerable to division and selfishness, none before the fall, present but aided by sacramental grace.

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Alright, some conclusions. The sacrament requires your yes. Like I told you, the sacrament is a source, but it's not going to do anything if you are not an active participant. The core message, the sacrament of matrimony gives supernatural grace but does not overwrite freedom or remove the need for daily virtue. Grace is not magic.

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We would wish it was. We would wish. What I have to do is go to Mass, receive communion, say the rosary, and I go to heaven.

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can do all these things and go to hell.

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because it's not magic. You need to use all of that to grow in virtue.

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That's your part. It is a strength for the journey, not a substitute for walking.

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What the sacrament doesn't do, it doesn't guarantee happiness.

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Grace is real but must be cooperated with. Spouses are still called to die to self daily. It doesn't eliminate suffering. Christ's love for the Church passed through the cross, so too marriage will often demand redemptive suffering. If you really think about it logically, you kind of understand that there is no way without it. Why? Because you are going to become a saint. Well, the way from sinner to saint

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usually involves suffering because we don't want to do it because we resist because it requires effort because it requires us to change on and on the list goes

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It doesn't force love. Grace doesn't make you automatically love someone. You have to work at it. Love is a decision renewed day after day. Grace empowers that choice but never replaces it. It doesn't solve all problems. Communication, patience, forgiveness, and humility remain essential human duties. Grace powers the whole thing, nourishes it, waters it, but you have to do the work.

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It doesn't make virtue automatic. The sacrament gives the grace to grow in virtue, but virtue still requires repetition, effort, and prayer.

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Like Mary's fiat to God, a daily yes to your spouse is required.

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So you pray the rosary, you have to say yes to your spouse. Those two go hand in hand. You do one, not the other, your rosary is fruitless.

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Participation in the Church's sacramental life, Mass, Confession, and Prayer. Fidelity not only in body but in heart and will. Openness to life and all its forms, children, service, sacrifice. Mutual sanctification. Your spouse is your path to heaven.

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That's why God put you together.

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This is a segue into the final talk. If the sacrament doesn't exempt us from the cross, what does it mean to live a cruciform marriage? How can spouses carry the cross together and even find in it joy? That's where we turn next. The Church, Marital Strength.

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We're going to take a break and then we can come back for questions. Thank you.