On Marriage

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Very good. we are, this is the sixth talk in the series on marriage. And I hope that by now you're starting to get the hang of this idea of recapitulation and how fruitful it can be for using scripture as a template for our lives. It works on a personal level and it also works within a marital union and family life as we're going to see today.

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So far we've covered, we went through Eden and then we went to the flood. I mean, there was initially first talk on the introduction, then we went Eden and the flood, we covered Jacob, Egypt, and now we're going to look at the crossing into the wilderness and how that has some important lessons for us when we think about marriage.

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So I am not going to rehash all this, you've already seen it. We are in talk number six, we still have two more to go. And those will involve the cross and then the church. Again, these are the QR codes. The fifth talk is now available up on the website. And the second QR code is in case you'd like to phone your questions. I'll give you a minute to grab those.

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Naturally, you don't have to do that, you can just ask me as well during the Q &A. But that's just in case a question comes to your mind while we're talking before the Q &A. Very good. So again, as usual, please stand up. Let's start with a word prayer. In the name of the Father, of the Son, of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Together, Come Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful.

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and kindle in them the fire of your love. Send forth your spirit and they shall be created and you shall renew the face of the earth. O God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit did instruct the hearts of the faithful, grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy his consolations through Christ our Lord. Amen. Name of the Father, the Son of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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And again, I want to remind you before we hit this that the purpose of marriage is our happiness. God placed it in our hearts because He knows that that will make us happy. It is the ordinary calling for most of us. Keep that in mind. It is the joy of happiness and the happiness in marriage that we want to attain.

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The world has one idea about how we go to tainness and God has another. And what we're looking for here are the patterns or anti-patterns of the sort of things that could happen in marriage so we can heed the call and then live the life that will give us the peace and the joy that God intends to give all of us. So although I am talking and Scripture generally speaking talks about a lot of woes, the intent is always joy.

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All right, keep that in mind. Don't forget that.

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So I'm going to go one more time and talk to you about the curses from a typological standpoint. I just want to show you what the types of curses we encounter in the scripture and their purpose and then we'll hit marriage as a crossing where God is ever faithful. So I already talked to you about recapitulation. I think by now it's starting to sink in what

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recapitulation means and how we use it. So I'm just going to skip that. And we are going to also skip these parts. I include them in the talk just in case somebody wants a refresher, but I'm not going to cover them right now. So what we're going to do instead is look at this. We're going to talk about curse typology. Why would there be a curse? is, okay, first of all, it is never God's

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first intent. That's not what God wants. God's general predetermination is for all to go to heaven. That's His plan. That's why He created all of us. So, as part of this plan, He gave us free will. And when we use the free will to move away from Him, He takes corrective measures. We call these corrective measures curses. Now,

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We've removed that meaning and instead think of a curse as the sort of deep dark thing and we overlay that on top of the meaning in scripture. But anytime you hear me say curse in general, in 80 % of the cases, it's a corrective measure.

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So, disobedience for sin, Adam and Eve, that's where we hit the first curse. The serpent was cursed to crawl and eat dust. Eve suffers in childbirth and subordination, and Adam is cursed with toil and death. And so always remember this, this idea of subordination of the woman to the man isn't result of the curse. That was not God's initial plan. It is a corrective measure for two reasons.

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One, Eve took on this initiative and got all of us in trouble. And Adam, by refusing to do the right thing, got all of us in trouble. As a result, God switched it. He basically told Eve to be subordinate to Adam and told Adam, you have to be in charge. He didn't want to be in charge. She didn't want to be subordinate. God flipped it for their good.

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That's the corrective measure. That's the intent.

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We can see these other situations where curse is result of sin. I am listing them here, I'm not going to go over them. But if you ever listen back to the talk, the deck will be available and you can always check those. The second case is against kings. So there are curses which are personal, but in most cases it is about authority. And you will see God taking

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very drastic measures when those in authority subvert the truth. When they make a lie be the truth and the truth be a lie. That's when you see God's curses triggered. Most of the prophetic books when addressing kings talk about this. So when the prophets went up to Israel, to the Kingdom of Israel after it split from Judah,

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They did not have any problem or any qualm with them having their own political system. Their qualm was because Israel built their own temple and refused to sacrifice in Jerusalem. They subverted the truth and that's what landed them in trouble. Anytime the truth is subverted, you can see God taking direct quick action. Why? Because when the truth is subverted, there is no more ways for people to be saved.

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And society becomes what? Becomes a one way to hell. And God out of His mercy will put an end to it. That's what happened in Sodom and Gomorrah. And that's what happens in most cases. When the truth is completely obliterated, when there is no more ways for people to know the truth, God takes action. That has always been the leading case when you see these types of curses against kings.

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against nations.

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So, the curse is placed against pagan nations. Egypt, Amalekites, Canaanite cities, Philistines, Babylon, Nineveh, no one is spared because God is the God of all. And by the way, what I'm showing you here applied back then, it applies today.

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No difference. And you don't have to take it from me. You can take it from our lady. When she appeared in Fatima, what did she tell the kids?

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God will punish the world with another war.

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Those were her words. We'll punish the world.

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So what happened back then still happens today. And what stays God's hand is your sacrifices, it's your prayers. Because like he told Abraham, if I can find five just, I will not destroy it. Five. And there are more than five just people here in San Diego alone.

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Okay, curses on Israel for disobedience. That will always trigger it. Punishments for breaking the covenant in Leviticus, Deuteronomy, Jeremiah, Ezekiel and I can go on and on and on.

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And then the covenantal curses are on those who violate God's commandments. So for instance, specific curses are pronounced at Mount Ebal for breaking God's law, such as idolatry, dishonouring parents.

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Perverting justice, sexual immorality, murder. Curses due to injustice. Proverbs 3.33, the Lord's curse is on the house of the wicked. So, if you can see the world covenantally, you would cease to be upset with people who are committing evil and you would have pity on

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Because there is no escape. Like St. Paul tells us, vengeance is mine, says the Lord. Vengeance is mine, says the Lord. I will repay.

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And so, if you understand that, you're there to intercede, you're there to ask for forgiveness, you're there to offer sacrifice, because you care about all the people around you. And you know, by the way, it is a very serious sin to wish for anyone to go to hell.

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So, if you understand, if you view the world covenantally, you understand your only concern is what God is doing. What God is doing right now. That's the only thing that you should be worried about. Because everything flows from there. No one has power other than God. And to whom He wishes to give it for His greater glory. That's what the covenantal view gives you. Peace of mind.

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There is no escaping. The world is not in chaos.

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There is no loss. There is only God's plan and what He wishes to do. And anytime you feel frustrated, anytime you feel angry, anytime you feel sad, anytime you feel scandalized by what's around you, which are normal feelings, I'm not telling you not to have those feelings, you will have them. It is completely normal. It's fine. Just say, what do you do with them?

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That's when you turn to the Lord and you say, like St. Paul says, you stand in awe and you say, Lord, what are you doing?

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Never ever think for a second that Jesus is like an absentee God who's like, well, you know, I'm just going to take a break now. Let you go do whatever you want to do.

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That's what the covenantal view will give you. That's why I'm insisting on those. Once you understand blessings and curses, once you understand that God is always in control, God is always in command, then you will start to take your faith very, very seriously. And you will understand those meanings. The beginning of wisdom, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. That's what it means. And no longer will you be so concerned with what everybody else is doing because no one has power

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We're all like a little bit of grass, like straw, cast in the wind. We're here today, gone tomorrow.

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And the purpose of divine curses in the New Testament, first it was a call to repentance. It was also a judgment on those who oppose Christ and the Gospel, including false teachers. And vindication of the righteous, God's justice is fulfilled in the end. That's in the book of Revelation. That was true back then, it is true today.

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So if you have a sense that Christianity is under siege, if you have a sense of fear, if you think that we are losing and they're winning, you don't have a covenantal view. You're having a political view, which has no place here.

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It takes real discipline to keep your eyes cast on the Lord.

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All right, here is a thematic comparison to all of them. I'm not going to cover this. It's available. And if you're interested, you can spend a little time looking at all of this and then just jogging your memory and remembering and to remember that God is always in control. Very good. Now, let's talk about the wilderness. After Egypt, and you know the story, everybody knows the story, right? Everybody's seen the movie?

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Yeah? The Prince of Egypt? You've all seen this story, you know what happened. Kinda. Sorta.

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Let's actually look at what Scripture tells us. What was God's initial plan?

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What did God, what did he want initially? What did Moses go and ask Pharaoh initially? Anybody knows?

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I'm sorry? Precisely not. That was not what was the initial ask. But like I said, in most situations we go over it. Yes.

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Nope, that's not... He didn't ask to lighten the burden, he didn't ask to free the people. Yes.

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Yes, specifically, you're on it, exactly. But he asked them...

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Afterward Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and said, Thus says the LORD the God of Israel, Let my people go, that they may hold a feast to me in the wilderness.

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That was the ask. That was it. Go and hold a feast to me in the wilderness. Why did he ask for his people to go in the wilderness and hold a feast? Because he is going to ask them to sacrifice animals which the Egyptians hold sacred.

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And he did not want to scandalize the Egyptians, so he asked them to go out in the wilderness. That was the ask. That was it. Freedom of worship. That's what God asked for. From the political authorities. Freedom to worship. Not freedom to believe.

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Freedom to worship is a big difference. The communist would want you to believe whatever you want as long as you do it inside your house. It's freedom of worship that they want to control.

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This request is reiterated multiple times with variation in language throughout the early chapter of Exodus, for instance, 827, we must go three days journey into the wilderness and sacrifice to the Lord our God as he will command us. That was the ask. That was it. We go three days journey, we sacrifice, we come back.

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So you see, God was less interested in political freedom and far more interested in worship. Why?

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Because God's intent is to sanctify Egypt.

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God's intent is to sanctify Egypt.

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His goal is for people to come to him.

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That was the initial request. That's what he wanted. Now, we know... So... So... You know, it's a sign of fidelity to the covenant and implicit rejection of Egyptian religious norms. The problem is obviously Pharaoh considered himself to be God and now he looked at that as a direct attack against this person. That same issue happened with Rome.

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The reason why the early Christians used the salutation, Peace be with you, was because this is what you were supposed to say when you saw the Emperor.

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That's how you were to salute the emperor, because he was God. The Roman emperor stood for God. So those... The godless becomes God in their own eyes. And that political tyranny blocked the people of Israel from being able to leave. That was God's plan A. That's what he wanted. Now we know how the story went.

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So we go to plan B. Now that they're unable to go, God will make it possible for them to leave. So Pharaoh's stubbornness did not derail God's plan, it clarified it. You can see how oftentimes God uses political opposition to clarify what he wants.

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So today, in 2025, we have a greater clarity on the moral battle in the United States than we did in 1980. It was already there, but the words, the terms, the players were not as clear as they are now.

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God used that opposition to clarify what he wants. Moses asked Pharaoh to let the Israelites go into the wilderness to worship. But when Pharaoh hardened his heart, God didn't just deliver them temporarily for worship, he delivered them permanently for covenant. So plan A, worship in the wilderness. Plan B, Exodus, covenant and the new people and cross the wilderness into the promised land. So typically, when you face, when you see

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The truth thwarted when you see our opponents have sway and control. It is because God will bring about a greater good out of it than anything else. Now it's easy for me to say that, it's much harder to go through.

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But if you keep your eyes fixed on the covenant and you keep your eyes fixed on God, you understand that's what he's up to. That's what he's doing.

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So when Pharaoh rejected, God escalated.

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And the lesson? Human resistance never thwarts divine purpose, it expands it. God doesn't change His purpose but often deepens it through opposition.

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So what happened to Plan B? Did the Israelites leave Egypt and go into the Promised Land?

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So you see, God has a plan A for the couple.

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Plan A for every couple, I'm talking natural marriage here, Plan A for every couple is, he's a virgin, she's a virgin. They haven't committed any sin, they come together in union, and they live together until death. That's Plan A.

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Now we know how the story goes for a lot of people.

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In many cultures, including mine, there is this...

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I call it demonic thought that the man needs to gain experience before he gets married. What does that really mean? It means he needs to go out and commit a bunch of mortal sins with a bunch of girls who are going to commit that mortal sin with him to gain experience.

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That's never God's plan A. Why? Here's why. None of us need experience to know how to eat ice cream.

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That's an entire fallacy.

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That has never been God's intent from the beginning.

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So, what happens? Many of us ends up swaying and doing something that is not according to God's plan. Does God then annul the covenant? Does He say, that's it? Forget you? I'm leaving? In many cases, we wish He would do just that. Leave us alone. As you will see with Israelites. But He doesn't. He has plan A.

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and plan B and plan C and plan D and plan Z. He is ever faithful, always calling us back.

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Always. It's up to us to hear his call and heed his call and come back. So instead of going directly from Egypt into the promised land, which is a few days journey, let's say two weeks, because there a lot of them, two weeks, they would have gone there. They spent two years.

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Why did they spend two years? What happened? Well.

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The golden calf happened.

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That was the precipitating event. So what's the golden calf? And he received the gold from their hand, he being Aaron, and fashioned it, meaning the calf, with a graving tool and made a molten calf. And they said, these are your gods, O Israel, who brought you out of the land of Egypt. And they rose up early on the morrow and offered burnt offerings and brought peace offerings. And the people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play.

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Okay, let's break it down a little and understand what's going on. What is the Golden Calf? It is, by every measure, most scholars and theologians would agree, the god Apis, the Egyptian god Apis. Apis is the god of fertility, kingship, and...

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fertility, kingship and strength. We use the same terms these days, but we use them differently. We basically say money, sex and power. That's what is the God of.

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By the way, horns, anytime you see horns, you shouldn't necessarily associate them with the devil. Horns are a symbol of power. Why? Because if you're out on the field and there's a horned animal and an unhorned animal, which one are you going to fear more? The one that has horns. So it's a symbol of power. Moses had horns, or at least the other appearance of having horns, as a sign of power.

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In fact, this is how Michelangelo's statue of Moses shows him with horns. So horns are the sign of power. This is what you see here. Apus was depicted as a bull. Apus was the Egyptian god of strength and fertility. The spirit of Apus was said to be present in the body of a real bull, which was kept by the Pharaoh and looked after by his priests. So they also worshipped...

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account.

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At the end of the old year, the Apis bull was slaughtered and his flesh eaten by the Pharaoh. It was believed that the Pharaoh would then inherit the great power of Apis. Each year the priests would search for a new Apis bull which would then live in life of luxury until the ritual was repeated. So you can see it's a very mistaken view of the Eucharist.

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In the Eucharist, we're not consuming the power of God, we're receiving graces. But here, the desire of the heart is for that grace. Completely turned around, upside down, and instead of looking up, we look down. Instead of looking to God, we look to animals. Right? That's what the devil wants us to do. Instead of worshipping God, he'd rather us worship animals.

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And that's essentially the god Apis. Now, the molten calf is made from gold jewelry, a symbol of Egyptian wealth and idolatry. The people credit it with the Exodus deliverance, rewriting sacred history. It's no longer God that does something, it is Apis who did something. It's the Egyptian gods who got them out of Egypt, not God.

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The feasting unrevelably indicated a kind of ritual celebration which could mirror pagan rites.

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So a pagan rite was basically what you see today in night clubs. It's the same thing.

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Don't think of it as some sort of elaborate, no, it was the same idea in night clubs. Except that in night clubs, nobody worships any god. We don't need that anymore. We worship ourselves. Because we are modern and enlightened and we're no longer ignorant. I'm being facetious in case you're wondering. The wording rose up to play that you saw earlier is often understood by scholars to imply licentious or orgiastic behavior.

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much like that associated with fertility cults, again reminiscent of apis worship. That's why they had the molten calf. They wanted a big party.

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Now.

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I'll say a little bit more about that in a minute. So golden calf bulls were symbols of apis, like model after Egyptian idol. Post-Exodus context, Israelites carried Egyptian habits, including idolatry. Remember, they've been there for 400 years. They acquired all the culture, all the Egyptian culture. And they were happy with it. So they took it with them. Just as Rachel took the gods of her father with her when she left with Jacob.

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Feasting and revelry, the reflective of Apis' festivals. Desire for visible leadership. Apis embodied divine kingship. Calf replaces Moses. Rewriting deliverance. These are your gods. Substitutes, true salvation history. That's what we usually do anytime we want to subvert religion for our own purpose.

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Anytime we want to subvert religion for our own purpose, we do this. Which is why St. Thomas clearly and forcefully teaches that among Catholics, if you reject one teaching of the Catholic faith, any teaching of the Catholic faith, you have no faith at all. Because faith is not some sort of a basket that you put stuff in it.

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So I have 10 % faith, you have 20 % faith, she has 80 % faith. Doesn't work that way. Faith works like love. You have it or you don't.

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So when you hear people giving excuses why they don't follow one teaching of the Church, understand they have no faith at all. They may behave like having faith, they act like having faith, they don't have faith. And again, you have to pray for them.

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So, why apis? Well, culture, culture, any culture needs to be constantly purified. Constantly purified. Last time you heard me, not the time before, you heard me say how in the culture I come from, even very pious women drink the Turkish coffee and then read the future in them. They do divination in Turkish coffee and they think nothing of it. They think it's just for fun.

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It's a sinful activity, but they consider it for fun. Why? Because their conscience has been deadened, they haven't been taught the truth, and they've accepted it as a cultural habit, and they have fun with it. Try to tell them not to do it. I also told you how it is very, very hard for people to follow the rubric of the mass.

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Why? They'll justify it for their own reasons. We all do that. We all fall into these cultural habits that actually work against the faith. And if you want me to give you an example, if I ever, if I put right now a screen here and it's covered in black and I told you behind it is your horoscope, how many of you would be tempted, would want to know what it says? The drive is in us. Let's not.

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Be ignorant of that fact. The drive is in us. And it takes discipline. It takes the virtue to teach us how to follow the truth. It doesn't come naturally.

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So remember that.

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Egyptian religion was saturated with public life and the Apiskult was one of the most visible and state-supported cults in Lower Egypt. So it's very common, everywhere. Bull worship was linked to divine kingship and the desire for leadership. As Moses is absent, may have prompted a return to a known symbol of authority in divine mediation. As for this Moses, Exodus 32.1, we do not know what has become of him. He was up on a mountain talking to God.

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what he's doing. We're done.

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So those habits are ingrained in us and they can actually, they can tear us apart. So if you take all this and you think about people getting into marriage, what habits are they bringing with them? They're bringing habits they've learned into their family of origin. If their family of origin is broken, if they're coming from a house where parents are divorced, or coming from a house where there is really no, they've never learned to discuss important things.

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Whether it's emotions, whether talking about death, they've never heard their parents even talk to them about anything. They've never had their parents discuss with them any important matters, open up and share with them what need to be shared. They've never learned what it takes to have a happy marriage. How can we expect them to carry it forward and just create a happy marriage? There's no magic here.

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So this purification, this requirement to purify ourselves, to constantly purify ourselves is so important. Where does it start? It starts with Noah's attitude. And he did what God asked him to do. Having an attitude of obedience, having meekness. Blessed are the meek. Being meek is being willing to be led, but always vigilant so that we're never led into sin.

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but always being willing to be led to the truth and not assume that you know the truth. Assume that God is going to come to talk to you and many people around you and no one is better than anyone, no one is greater than anyone. We're all in the same boat.

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and be willing to listen when someone is talking to you as if God is talking to you. Do those things. God will get you where you need to go.

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So the people might have feared they were leaderless and wanted a tangible God to be before them, just as Apis was paraded through Egypt in religious festivals. I hope I'm seeing those things so you can at least relate to them. Because it's easy to read Exodus, it's easy to read these events and then judge them. How could they have done those things?

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If I was with them, I would have never done

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Remember I told you one of the sin that is most frequent on our Lord's lips is hypocrisy. And that would be completely hypocritical because we all would have done what they have done. It is very human. It's a very human thing to do.

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So the golden calf isn't just about idolatry, it's a rejection of covenantal relationship. It symbolizes the temptation to domesticate God. All of us wants a God that scratches where we itch. All of us wants to turn Jesus into a domesticated God.

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I mean that we want Jesus to correspond to what we're comfortable with. We don't want Jesus to make us uncomfortable. And you can see, instance, how... This is why, by the way, I much prefer icons over any other images of Christ.

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Because an icon tells you immediately he is the other. He is different.

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An icon isn't trying to pull you emotionally. It's very sober and it reminds you the two natures of Christ. It doesn't subjugate Christ to our own romantic view. This is why I don't like the images of Christ carrying a lamb with a big grin on his face walking around. There's nothing wrong with that picture. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we shouldn't see Christ smiling. I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying it...

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It allows us, we can misuse it for our purposes. That's what I'm trying to say. It's not that the picture is wrong, it is our use of the picture that is problematic. We're so tempted to domesticate Christ.

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It also reveals the desire to fuse the covenant with worldly customs. And that is ever-present. Ever-present. Right? Ever-present.

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God, we want to make God palatable through familiar pagan imagery. just want to make God palatable. If God is palatable to all, then God is no longer.

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ruling overall.

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So, what happens? What is the implication of the golden calf? So they committed idolatry almost immediately after the covenant was sealed at Mount Sinai. As a result, God's wrath was kindled and Moses interceded on their behalf. The Levites rallied to Moses and executed judgmentary idolaters. God renewed the covenant but also inflicted a plague on the people. Most importantly, God...

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distance himself. That to me is one of the most important verses in the Old Testament and explains it's the foundation of most of Saint Paul's writings on grace. This right here. Go up to a land flowing with milk and honey that's still there but I will not go up among you.

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Now God has put intermediaries between him and the people. He will no longer be the one leading them directly. That's a rupture. You can almost think of it as like a divorce.

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in terms, covenantal terms. I will not go up that bit here.

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explains the entire human drama until the coming of Christ. What is Christ's name? What did the angels say? Emmanuel. What is Emmanuel? Look at this.

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If you understand these two statements, see what the implication was.

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I will not be among you. God is with us. God is among us. Okay. Lest I consume you in the way for you are a stiff necked people. That expression, stiff necked, is precisely the problem that most of us face. That we must never be stiff necked. We must be meek. That's the opposite. This moment marks a deep rupture in the relationship between God and Israel and why here in Uzzah's commitment through Moses is virtual immaturity of the people is laid bare. So oftentimes in marriage,

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You see a family and it's hard to say but eventually you can get a sense as to whether God is with them or not. God will continue to provide but he may not be with them because they chose to reject him.

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All right.

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But how does God use the Golden Calf? How does he use that event? Two years in the wilderness before crossing in the Promised Land, God that does revoke the covenant but matures the people before asking them to scout the land. The Golden Calf was a pivotal test revealing their need for discipline and spiritual formation before inheriting the promise. Oftentimes we pray and it seems that we have no answer and we're asking, what happens then? Notice what our...

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mental and psychological frame of mind is. Why is God not answering my prayer? That's how we ask. Why is God not answering? Where do we put the blame? On God. Squarely on God.

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Not for a second do we think.

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there's something wrong with us. Generally speaking, there's something wrong with

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So God's silence is for formation.

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God's silence is to form us. He will delay to form us.

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There's never anything wrong with God. Usually there's something wrong with us. here's the deal. What did I tell you about faith? What is faith? Faith is a faculty of reason. Which means that your reason needs to be illuminated. Because that's the only way you can go to God. Is by knowing God. And in order to do that, you have to be able to enter into yourself. And look at yourself. And come to know yourself.

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That's why the prayer of St. Augustine starts with, Lord, let me know myself that I may know thee. He starts his prayer this way because it is the most important thing to do, to know ourselves so we can know God. And often time we don't want to know ourselves, we're running away.

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And that's the hard truth. This is why God used that two years in the wilderness before he told them they could actually go into the Promised Land.

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So the two-year interval echoes God's mercy. Now, how did they take it? How did they live in the wilderness? Let's try to understand that a little bit better. Here is a good image of the camp as God prescribed it. You see that in the middle there is the tent.

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where the Holy of Holy was, this tent here. You see that it is circumscribed and that people need to stay outside and they just can't walk in the way they want to. So God is already separated from the people. He is not in the camp with the people. He is separate.

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This is the order of the tribes from east to west, south to north with their standard bearers indicating which of them begin to move when the camp moves. This is why, by the way, there's always this thought among the fathers of the church that the Antichrist will come from the tribe of Dan, located on the northern side. And that tribe is actually

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absent from the book of Revelation. Which is sort interesting. It's an aside. I'm not gonna spend a lot of time on it. But that was the structure that we're supposed to follow and here you have the Levitical priesthood surrounding the tent and in its service. Joseph, the son of Jacob, gets a double portion because two of his sons are here. I'll leave it up to you to figure out which these are. Okay, they're next to each other by the way. Anyway.

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How do you think they considered life in the wilderness?

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So, in these two years, the entire priestly system is established, the tribes are organized, the people are instructed in holiness, sacrifice, purity and order. This extended time in Mount Sinai serves as a period of reformation and catechesis after the Golden Calf Crisis, which revealed a deep susceptibility to idolatry and Egyptian influences. You can take Israel out of Egypt, much harder to take Egypt out of Israel. That's basically it. How did they react to this?

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Well, let's go back to Eden, because Eden is ever-present. Here is Eden. This here is the schematics of the camp, the tent of the Lord. And you notice the ground cannot be tilled and there is no orchard. There are no fruitful trees. So we are a far cry away from the beginning, from that garden that God created.

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with the river coming from outside, watering it, and inside turning into four rivers that nourish the world. We're far cry from that. There is no river. It's dry. God is with them, God is with them. So now.

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Which of these two would you prefer?

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Being here with the tent of the Lord or being in Goshen?

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lush green gochujang with trees and onions and food. Which of these two you think you would pick? Before you answer, I'm going to ask you question differently. How long does it take you before you start grumbling when it gets a little too humid or a little too hot? Or if the AC dies?

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Think about that and you will know which of these two you will pick.

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So you see, we're not much better than they.

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or in the same boat. This is material comfort.

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This is a good life. This here, the Lord is right here, but it's dry and barren.

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So, oftentimes in our marital life, we're going to go through phases like these. Every marriage does.

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You might face material challenges. You might lose your job. You might face medical issues. Your children might face medical issues.

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All these problems can happen and you find yourself here. And that's when God is ever present close to you. But you'd wish not to be here and be there. You have to recognize this as part of who we are.

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natural thing.

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It's a very natural thing. This is why I hope that if you reread Exodus, you will start to sympathize with the Israelites. And you will start to think to yourself, well, at least you would think, well, better them than me.

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I'm not sure how I would have reacted.

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So let's imagine this conversation. How about you two guys play these roles? Michael, right? Michael, you read Amnon and Ben, right? You read Hellas and read it out loud. Go ahead.

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You call bricks without straws?

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We have leeks,

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So life reminds me every evening, my boys are tired of manna, we sit here beneath torn tents waiting for what? More smoke and fire?

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Wasn't it? Hugh Carstera wasn't it his hand that's put in the seat? But what if this is madness? What if Moses is lost too? We're armed. We're strong. Each of his gods are broken. Why not return and build a kingdom of our own? Because we are not our own.

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So you can imagine a conversation like this taking place between

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the people in the desert. Israel is... Egypt is broken. The army is gone. They're weak and they're strong. What are we doing? Just turn around, go back and take it. Temptation is very strong. You're in the wilderness. Imagine being a father in the wilderness. Your wife is sweaty, your kids are sweaty, you're eating the same food and they're grumbling. Imagine the kind of pressure that puts on you.

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Imagine being a wife and a mother. You're looking at your kids. You're seeing how they're basically out there in the wilderness. They're scorpions and snakes. You can't take care of yourself. can't, you know, all the henna, all the things that the Egyptians were very, famous with for is no longer available to you. You barely have any water and you can barely wash.

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Think about the pressure that this puts on families. That's not easy.

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So yeah, God is present, but that's what you're dealing with every day. Not easy.

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That's what God wanted so he can form the people. And oftentimes marriages will go through these difficult moments. And like I told you before, oftentimes what we're doing right now is forgetting how... we forget the strength of the marital covenant that God made a promise and no matter how weak we are and no matter what the difficulties are, God will see it through if we can keep our eyes on the tent.

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Okay, so now we go to plan C. Plan A didn't work. Let my people go worship. Plan B, I'm gonna take you out there into the promised land. That didn't work. Now we're going to plan C. What is plan C? He gave a command two years after to scout the promised land and check it out basically. That's in Numbers 13, one and two. The Lord said to Moses, send men to spy out the land of Canaan, which I give to the people of Israel.

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From each tribe of their fathers shall you send a man, every one a leader, among them. So this is two years after.

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And that's when he is ready to let them enter the promised land. Okay, that is God's plan C. How do the people react to that?

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God commands Moses to send the twelve spies. Forty-five days later they return, all twelve of them. And this is the report. The land is flowing with milk and honey. The people who dwell there are strong.

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Okay. Caleb, one of the spies, proposes to go up at once and occupy the land.

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The ten other spies replied, the land devours its inhabitants. We went from it flowing with milk and honey to the people there are strong to now it devours its inhabitants. All the men there are a great stature. We even saw giants next to which were like grasshoppers. Observe the escalation.

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and the lies.

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Two years, God is present, that's the result.

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So, oftentimes in marriage we tend to escalate our side when there is an argument and we refuse to really listen to the facts.

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and we do what they're doing, which is what Adam and Eve did, right? Blaming others and escalating. We're really good at that.

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And we always think we have a good justification why we're going to act this way.

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The people murmured, that expression, the people murmured means there's a revolt. It really bellies the real event, because when they murmur it means there's a revolt, that's what it means. Against Moses and Aaron asked to be sent back to Egypt. It's like, okay, you brought us here, you're gonna take us over there to be killed. Forget it, we wanna go back to Egypt. Back to Egypt. Joshua sided with Caleb and appealed to the people. Reaction?

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Let's stone them.

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That's when God offers to strike the people and start anew with Moses. He intercedes for them. God relents but declares this generation will die in the wilderness. You want the wilderness? You don't want me to give you... You don't want to take what I'm giving you? I am going to give you what you want. I know what you need, which is to go up in the promised land. But you don't want what you need? I'll give you what you want.

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And then if you notice, oftentimes in couples, the thing that they are most miserable about is the thing that they want the most.

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So we went from, let us go out and worship for three days, which would have been the best solution for Egypt and most likely for Israel, to let's go out from Egypt into the promised land. That turned into a two-year stay.

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And when God offered them to go up to the promised land, which the scouts unanimously said it flows with milk and honey, it's a good land.

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They turn to lies in the seat because they're afraid.

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So marriage takes courage.

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but it takes also trust in God.

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So, fear and trust in God's promises. That's the family pattern. Major life decisions looms. Job change, relocation, large commitment. Every family, every couple will have to face those.

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Family members are divided, some confident, others fearful and pessimistic. Like Caleb and Joshua, faithful voices must stand firm, urging trust in God's promises despite fear. What is the virtue? Courage, faith in God's plans, avoiding paralysis by fear.

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That doesn't come about when you face the problem. That's a formation.

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So if you're not forming yourself in virtue, if you're hit sideways by major event, you don't know how to react.

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Plan D

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38 years in the wilderness.

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So in that 38 years you have manna and quail, the water from the rock, Coraz rebellion, Balpeor, fiery serpents and the bronze serpent. All of those are great patterns for marriage and I'm going to go through them quickly.

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Manna and quail. You know that God gave them manna and quail to eat. Daily provisions. What is the family pattern? Parents work to provide daily sustenance, often modest, repetitive and seemingly unremarkable. Like manna.

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Children and even spouses may complain. Why this again?

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or desire more excitement or luxury.

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The challenge is learning gratitude, contentment and trust in God's daily provision. So when God gives us the same thing to eat over and over, it is to help us grow in those virtues. But we can focus on the thing that we're not eating and grumble and become resentful. It's our choice. If you recognize God in your midst and you understand that the food that you're given is what he wants you to eat,

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and you learn to be grateful and generous. What you gain is a treasure.

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What you gain is a treasure. Food, you eat, you enjoy for a short period of time and then it's gone. But those virtues will be with you and that's what you take with you to heaven. The only thing you can take with you to heaven are your virtues. That's it.

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So contentment, gratitude and simplicity.

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Water from the rock. are, the Israelites are thirsty. There is no water anywhere. And they are about to, well, kill Moses.

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It's a crisis and a very acute one.

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What does God say to Moses? Strike the rock.

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If you really think about it, it's a ridiculous solution. It's anti-scientific. It's like, strike the rock. We want water, strike the rock.

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Why does he ask him to strike the rock by the way? Do you know?

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He asked him to... because everything God does, He does it with purpose. And everything that God is doing, He's doing for the glory of His Son. He's striking the rock because what is God called in the Psalms? Over and over and over.

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The Rock.

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Read the Psalms. David unceasingly called God the Rock. My Rock, my salvation, my Rock. So who is the Rock? Who is the Rock upon which the Church is built?

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Jesus. So what is striking the rock? What happened when Jesus was struck on the cross with a lance? Blood and water flowed. Later on, when the same thing happens, God tells Moses, speak to the rock.

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not strike, speak. Moses was really in a bad mood. So what did he do? He struck the rock twice. What was God's reaction? Because you did this, you will not enter the promised land. Sounds excessive, doesn't it? Why did he do that? Because, again, you see it's a priestly function. During Mass, at consecration, does the priest strike the rock?

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No, he doesn't. He speaks.

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twice the words of consecration and water flow.

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So, that's the event. They are thirsty, there is a need, and it's acute. What does it teach us? It happens in families. It will happen. One moment and another. There will be an acute need. What are you supposed to do? In times of stress, tension rises. Resources may feel scarce, patience wears thin. Parents may feel pressured to produce results, like Moses striking the rock. The lesson.

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Obeying God with calm trust, not reacting in frustration, especially in front of the children. And the virtue? Patience, humility, trust under pressure.

01:02:25
Korah's Rebellion. I'm gonna spend a little bit more time on it because you probably are not familiar with it. Korah, a Levite, Dathan, Abiram and On who are Rubenites, together with 250 leaders rose against Moses and Aaron. Again, another rebellion. He tells the brothers that everyone in the congregation is holy and they shouldn't exalt themselves above the rest. He tells Moses and Aaron, you're exalting yourself above all of us. Everybody's holy. Stop. Moses replies with a test. Come before the Lord's tent in the morning with censors and let the Lord choose who is holy.

01:02:55
So he calls also Daphne and Abiram, but they refuse to listen to him and they accuse him of taking them out of a land of milk of honey. They use that expression, Egypt, so he can rule over them. You brought Amas here so you can make yourself a prince over us. Why? He was obviously a prince in Egypt.

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So what do they do? They subvert the religious for political means. They see the religious through a political lens. That's all they see. God then ordered the people to stand aside as the ground opened and swallowed Korah, Dathan, Abiram, on and all their households. It swallowed them alive. And the scripture says they went to Sheol alive. So you have the cases of two people who went to heaven.

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alive but you have many more who went to shale alive.

01:03:52
Fire came from the Lord and consumed the 250 men offering incense.

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So these things may not happen physically the same way now, but they happen spiritually the same

01:04:08
The challenge is when you're challenging authority, you need to do it the right way. Children, especially teenagers, may challenge parental authority.

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Spouses may disagree over leadership roles in the home. This reflects the age-old temptation to equality without order. The father and mother must uphold rightful roles without tyranny or abdication. So it's okay for a child to challenge his parents, but they must do it respectfully. They should always be able to ask questions. They should always feel free and comfortable and invited to ask questions.

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always but they need to be able to do it respectfully and likewise for the parents when they talk to each other the virtue that this teaches us respect for order and authority servant leadership you serve you you lead by service not by authority

01:05:17
Baal Peor That's when the Amalekite had the idea, hey, we want to win over them but they're too strong militarily so let's let's offer the Israelites men the opportunity to gain some experience

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Which they did. It is actually not as well known as the Golden Calf but it's just as bad.

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So exposure to moral corruption, TV, social media, peer influences enters the home. Members of the family are tempted to compromise. This demands vigilance, correction and courageous moral leadership like Phineas, especially from fathers. This is something the fathers are most especially need to be called to be very vigilant and active. Usually they leave it up to the mothers, but they're the ones who need to be in charge of this. Chastity, vigilance, moral courage.

01:06:17
especially these days, especially when it comes to dress code. We have a pool and I have six girls. And we had, obviously, they often wanted to invent their friends to come to the pool, which is fine. But very early on, I imposed a dress code for the pool that would preserve everyone's modesty. And eventually my girls found a

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gentle way to tell their friends and guess what? Hanan correct me but I don't believe we ever had one person complain.

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Man.

01:07:03
Yeah. stating the truth oftentimes is acceptable by people, provided we do it like my daughter said, we do it correctly. So, you should never shy away from that, ever. Because if you do, you're going to be called to task.

01:07:24
The last one, fiery serpents and the bronze serpent. You remember the story? It's in the Gospel. Our Lord mentions it. Again, the people remembered against Aaron and Moses. And as a result, God sent serpents to poison the serpents, to bite them and many died. And in order to be saved, he told Moses to make a bronze serpent, which was lifted. And when they looked at it, they were saved. That was again a prefiguration of the cross.

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Because Jesus, so if we were serpents, Jesus is like us but not like us. He's divine. So he's made of bronze, not of flesh. And when we look at him, we're saved. That's the idea.

01:08:08
Consequences and Healing A child or parent makes a grave mistake or falls into sin. The consequence, pain, illness or relational breakdown. But like the bronze serpent, looking up to Christ brings healing and restoration. The virtue taught, repentance, hope, redemptive suffering. These tableaux are all sorts of things that could happen in families and they're there that as we meditate on them and we form our conscience,

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and our understanding, we see how God acts with us through them.

01:08:46
So, here's a summary mapping of everything I've covered with all the virtues that they teach us as far as family life goes and all the dangers that we can face within a family. So, your children are not necessarily aware of it, but it takes a lot of work on the parent's side to guard you and protect you and help you to grow in a wholesome environment.

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And I'm not saying this that you can start to feel all that. I'm just saying this to help you develop a sense of gratitude towards your parents.

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Conclusion marriage is like a wilderness peregrination. You're eventually Going to leave the shore. You're eventually going to leave your honeymoon You're eventually going to leave the first year and you're gonna strike in and when you do that when you do that Your spouse becomes as habitual to you as your own self the initial excitement and the initial high

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fades away. And now it's time to build. Now it's time to be patient, to develop those virtues, to be courageous, and then to trust in God. That through this marriage, He's going to lead you to heaven. Because you have to remember, this life is a blip compared to eternity. It is nothing. It might seem long to us, but it is nothing compared to eternity. That's what God, God has His eyes on eternity, not here only.

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Keep that in mind, that's really important. But that's how you will face challenges along the way. But just as in the end Israel made it into the promised land, in spite of all the difficulties, so is the case with every marriage. God's plan is for every marriage to make it safely to the shores. What is the shores? To come and meet Him and know Him and love Him and hopefully be with Him in heaven happy forever.

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To the virtue in the wilderness, beyond the initial honeymoon and the first few years, the husband has said that the family must not falter nor bow to pressures from his wife and children. He leads with faith and courage. He works hard, he remains confident, he leads by example. The mother, as the loving heart of the family, must strengthen, encourage, and uplift her husband and children. She creates a warm, welcoming home, diffusing conflict with gentleness, reminds the family of their mission and unity.

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The children must be obedient from the heart. Not obedient because they've been told to, but from the heart. Looking after their siblings and the welfare of the family with joy and care. An older sibling helps with chores without being asked. He or she comforts a younger one, showing initiative and love. This is what we're all called to do. This is the story of the wilderness. God expects all of us to be seeking Him. And we start seeking Him when we take

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He's called for us seriously.

01:12:00
For instance, it is possible that the wife wants certain material needs being fulfilled. She wants maybe a bigger house. In some cases, she might demand for more material goods and they may or may not be for the good of the family. And he has to be able to stand firm, gently, but firmly. So he has to make sure whatever he's doing for the family is really for the good of the family, no matter what. Yeah?

01:12:31
So as an example, a young couple may be having a couple of kids and the husband decides that he's going to put immediately 20 % of his income into a retirement account. The wife is looking at the need of the children and might react and say, no, we need the money right now. But if he's thinking about what is going to happen in a bunch of years,

01:12:59
he would know this is the right thing to do and he has to be able to stand firm and help her to navigate those difficulties. can't just say, oh no, that's what we're going to do and leave. He's going to say, OK, let me see how we can work through these. So he has to be there and be participating, but at the same time, he can stand firm on this decision, which will have a very significant impact when they're older, as an example. All right.

01:13:23
So as usual, we're going to take a break and then we'll come back for questions. I hope this has been helpful and I hope that most importantly you're starting to see how you can you yourself fruitfully read the scriptures and then learn from those patterns that might speak to you right now or in the future. Thank you.